Walk away

How can someone say goodbye to people without them thinking that you’re abandoning them? How I can explain to old ones that my "walking away" is  just temporary while I’m finding my way back to my own self… to re-gain strength and fill the loss.  I have run out of words.  I’m scared that I’m feeling I have run out of love to share.  Half of my life was spent sharing and that nothing has been left to spare.  

To strangers, friends and blog-hoppers… thanks for spending time reading the Toinkable Thots.  To my family, I wish I can always go back home and you’ll see just the way the world and the people see me as I am.  I may have not been totally good as everyone perceived, but I cannot remember any instance that I failed to show compassion I’ve struggled to show.  You have always been prioritized… in my 29 years of existence… would it not be too much to ask, that the remaining years be spared of to me.

As I close this Toinkable Thots, I wish everyone a good life, a good journey and a heart filled with compassion. May the good Lord constantly shower us with blessings and guide as always towards meeting Him halfway.  Maraming Maraming Salamat God is watching over us… Include me in your prayers…

"Loving too much is not a guarantee that they’ll gonna love you back." - Sheggydi

I didn’t know how

I got this message from Epey.  You hit it right once again, huh?!  While on my way back to Manila, I was thinking of "things".  I learned to erase for awhile what I’ve been thinking and those that I intend to save, but my heart and mind are constantly debating. I want to save something but I know it will never be whole again… and honestly, I dunno how to start it off.  In the end, I agreed at saying "Move on, Sheggz.  Let them live the life they want to be.  You enjoy the life as real as possible… carefree."

It hurts when you lose something very important to you.
It also hurts when you lose it unknowingly.
It hurts most when you wanted to save it…
but you didn’t know how…

Hoping when you read this, you’ll know basically that the message is yours.  And you’ll understand that even without spilling it out, I need not to save anything… for everyone’s peace of mind… for yours and mine..  It might appear unbelievable but I’d learn to love the happiness I’m having now… uncomplicated.
Think as if I just disappeared in your lives.  We’ll carry it on… 

Heart of the Ocean

My supposed-to-be Coron, Palawan travel last weekend was postponed due to my Mom’s text invite.  "Punta tayo ng Anilao!"  So I decided to join her and her friends at Anilao, Batangas last Friday.   Though totally outnumbered by the oldies, I never expected I’d enjoy that vacation that much.  This is one good chance that I get to see Tagaytay again, the fog, the cool breeze and the relaxing view.  While they were chatting, I have a separate world running around me with my headset on and country music was there to serenade my soul.  I loved the zigzag road of Lemery, Batangas.  We passed by the Fantasy Island, too.  There I saw a sign-board "Heart of the Ocean" beach.  Ohh… we’re going to the Heart of the Ocean, huh?! Cool!  
We were starting to get wet when lightning strikes and lights went off.  We literally had a candlelit dinner at the cottage.  Thanks to Mang Ver for cooking that sumptuous "Sinigang na Blue Marlin", it made me forget I was having my diet.
When dinner was over, I’d almost lost hope that I’d enjoy the rest of the night, had it not for Kiray, the 3-year old girl, with whom I constantly mess around hehehe. We played at the seashore putting all those dark sand all over.  The tight hug of that lil girl made me confess to my Mom, "gusto ko talaga ng baby girl."  I love it when I became a Mom of Kiray in just 2 days *wink!*
I asked my Mom, "Kala ko white sand? Tsaka akala ko Anilao?  Bakit Lemery?  Bakit hindi white sand?"  It took us an hour at most to travel to Anilao by boat.  We crossed 2-3 islands just to reach there… and wooohoo!!! white sand nga! There I enjoyed swimming with my life vest, the mask and the snorkel and the very helpful aqua shoes hahahaha… I was able to witness the death of the sea urchin…
What I enjoyed the most was the serenity that boat-ride brought me and seeing my Mom happy that we were together in one great weekend escapade… and meeting Kiray and her Lola Pin, Ate Precy and Kuya Roger… Thanks for making my Mom happy as well. Next year again!    
End of May, Coron!!!!

Fix :)

Finally, we gave in to Mae’s long overdue make-over request.  They say, when someone had a drastic change in aura, they’re into emotional distress or feeling something disastrous.  In our case, yes, it is!  And the desire to have that change is a unanimous decision harharharhar!  My friends knew just how I’ve been so lax at haircare that’s why everyday is a bad hair day and ponytail has always been my saving grace.  My first haircomb for the day would always be the last hehehe. 
I’ve been constantly bugging Mae and Shem to have my hair cut at whatever cut that fits.  I just want to look different. And Mae answered, "O girl, you need a surgery if that’s what you want! Hahahaha". 
But I am happier to see my eyelashes curled harharharhar
Thanks, Mae for making us look "new OJTs" at work hehehe

The 3 Ls

I told myself, never to fall again for someone who just keeps me hanging and waiting.  A big no-no noh?! That’s an aftershock of my 5-year waiting with *****.  5 long years that we weren’t sure whether or not there’s something or there was none at all or we’re just assuming that there is and no one dared to break the silence.  And when the time comes that one of us had nothing left but to “face the awkward” stage of bringing it up, the 5-years of agony ended up in a wink and we could have been happier if we have it earlier that complications are not yet part of us.  If there’s one thing I constantly pray, that is not to suffer that same fate again… not that era again.  It made me happier and it made me different but it was the truest feelings that I reckon that I had to give up.  And it’s not easy to give up something that is the only reason of my being happy and fulfilled.  In short, I wouldn’t wait for you…  Love, live and let go.

Love has many faces

When true love comes, it can definitely wait for the right time to have that love be professed… when both are ready and convinced that it’s destiny that brought them there… 

Still I was touched by “Sometimes Love Has Many Faces”… at times, people have to wear masks to cover their weaknesses and only true love can uncover it…

Anne:  What happens in Boracay… stays in Boracay…
Dimples: Not all the time 

Non-Stop Tugtugan from Dusk ’till Dawn

El Cavitenos who would want to spend a night out jamming… there’s this Silang Woodstock Non-Stop Tugtugan from Dusk ’till Dawn in KM 52 Aguinaldo Highway, Lalaan 2 Silang, Cavite on June 14, 2008 from 3pm to 5am. Featuring: Sugarfree, Urbandub, Itchyworms, Shamrock, Imago, Callalily, Soapdish, Fastpitch, Nyctinasty. Ticket price is Php200.00  Kitakits!

Taste and see

I am a regular customer of Country Style on the 2nd floor of this building and the staff already knew that when I entered the door I just have one order to make "Spaghetti Combo and Hot Choco".  While waiting for my order, I saw a white bond paper hanging at the door just beside the sign "PUSH".  I dunno if it was there all along and I haven’t noticed it or it has just been posted just recently.  I dunno either if I for some unknown purpose, that message has to be read by me.

"Oh taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusts in him."

How to handle failure

This is from Rick Warren.  Thanks for Singles for Christ Davao for this   Have a good weekend everyone!

Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways. Proverbs 20:30 (GNT) No one’s life is an unbroken chain of victories. We all experience setbacks, defeats, losses, and failures. Nobody bats a thousand. We all make mistakes. Since failure is common to all of us, one of the most important life-skills you can learn is how to respond to it. Mature people know how to turn every failure into a learning experience, a stepping stone for future success. The first thing to do is to analyze why you experienced failure. Although there may be a variety of reasons – many out of your control – here are five common causes of failure:
1. When we don’t plan ahead – As the old saying goes, “If you fail to plan, you’re planning to fail.” Proverbs 27:12 (LB) says, “A sensible man watches for problems ahead and prepares to meet them.” Remember, Noah had to start building the ark long before it started raining!
2. When we think we’ve “arrived” – Remember the lesson of the whale: just when you get to the top, and you start to blow– that’s when you get harpooned! Proverbs 16:18 (GNT) says, “Pride leads to destruction, and arrogance leads to downfall.” In other words, the man who gets too big for his britches will be exposed in the end. 
3. When we’re afraid to take necessary risks – The fear of failure can cause failure. We worry about what others will think of us if we fail, so we don’t even try. Former U.S. football player Fran Tarkenton says, “Fear sets you up to be a loser.” We fail to take advantage of golden opportunities. “Fear of man is a dangerous trap”  (Proverbs 29:25 LB).
4. When we give up too soon – Many times, success is just around the corner. Remember, the game is often won in the final seconds. If at first you don’t succeed … you’re normal! Keep on keeping on! The value of a postage stamp is found in its ability to stick to one thing until it gets there. “A lazy fellow has trouble all through
life” (Proverbs 15:19 LB).
5. When we ignore God’s advice – The Bible is our owner’s manual for life. It is filled with practical
instructions and guidelines for work, home, finances, relationships, and health. When we fail to follow these, we’re asking for trouble. “There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death” (Proverbs 14:12 NIV). But remember failure is never final unless you let it be! 

If you’ve experienced failure, here are some steps for starting over:
1. Accept responsibility for your own failure – If you’ve made a mistake, admit it! Welcome to the human race. Don’t blame others. “A man who refuses to admit his mistakes can never be successful. But if he confesses and forsakes them, he gets another chance” (Proverbs 28:13 LB).
2. Recognize the benefits of failure – For instance, it shows you what doesn’t work. The great inventor Thomas Edison said, “Don’t call it a failure. Call it an education!” Failure forces you to be more creative. 
3. Failure prevents arrogance and egotism – If everything you did was a stunning success, no one could live with you! It causes you to re-evaluate what’s important in life. Failure is one way God gets us to reflect on the direction of our lives. “Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways” (Proverbs 20:30 GNT). 
4. Ask God for wisdom to understand the cause for the failure – Ask, “Why did I fail? Is there any reason I might have set myself up to fail?”
5. Forget the past and focus on the future – Your past is past! It’s water under the bridge. You can’t change it so you may as well stop worrying about it. Brothers and sisters, I can’t consider myself a winner yet. This is
what I do: I don’t look back, I lengthen my stride, and I run straight toward the goal to win the prize that God’s heavenly call offers in Christ Jesus. Philippians 3:13-14 (GWT)
Be encouraged!

A Thousand [S] Miles

That very moment I saw her picture in large print last night in Glorietta, I’d almost slipped down in the escalator. I felt a sudden adrenaline rush.  I regret that I stepped on it and that I might miss out reading the details on the poster… While going down, I was looking up… trying to absorb everything printed on it.  “Vanessa Carlton walks a thousand miles to perform live” Glorietta Activity Center May 10 at 7:00pm.   Woohoo!  Wish granted again! I’d long wanted to see her perform from the time I saw her MTV of that song…  And thanks God, the long wait will soon be over, I’d be seeing her play “A Thousand Miles” with her piano LIVE! She’s one of the best pop singer, songwriter and pianist and I become an instant fan of her as she began to hit the piano keys and the head banging continues from that Coda… hehehe 

Catch her on the following dates:
May 09 – Trinoma Hall – 7:00pm | May 10 – Glorietta Activity Center – 7:00pm |
May 11 – Alabang Town Center – 6:00pm 
 

It’s absolutely free! Prepare your CDs, Carlton fans! It’s gonna be one heck of Tenenenen tenen tenenenenenen J Vanessa walks a thousand miles and brings Sheggz a thousand smiles. I walked a thousand miles if I could just see you… tonight!  Woohoooo! [Lord, there’s one left on my list, Carrie Underwood… please? You’re angels will definitely bring her here]