Letting go of the Groom

To “let go” is to fear less, and love more.

This particular line hit me. 

In carefully assessing myself on the process of letting go of someone, it has been very easy for me to say that after this, I will never allow anybody to hurt me as much as I have been hurt…

but why?

Does it mean I am blaming myself for allowing it to happen to finally make a recourse to have a heart as hard and as strong as steel?  If that's the case, then I haven't learned anything from it.

Tsk Tsk Tsk 

When taking risk in loving, no one has to be blame if it doesn't work that well.  There's a wider room for everybody where we could all fit in.  

A guy asked me while we were dancing, "Are you willing to take risks again?"

I answered…

"Yes, but not now.  Not tomorrow but soon I'll be.  I know it's very very soon.  The coping stage is a lot faster than I expect it to be.  But when I'm ready… I know I'll be happy.  Cause now I know how to take full responsibility and accountability of LOVE and of LOVING.  It has never been the same Sheggz in terms of this… I'm working on being more compassionate and responsible.  Loving, is not just feelings, it is far more than that.  It's not just the ring that I'll be wearing nor the elegant wedding that I wish to have…

it's working on the BEST US to produce LITTLE BEST US in the future.  While preparing myself to be complete and deserving, the other half is doing the same.  Isn't it nice and exciting?  I learned a lot from this heartache… really.  To put love in proper perspective and to put myself in the most proper place where I should really be.  That's the best thing I did this year.  It may be sad for now but it can stand as a mere fulfillment, too.  That love was never selfish… never… Now, I'm more careful when telling "I LOVE YOU"… it should come from the heart.  I won't tell it to anybody, even with friends and families, if I didn't mean it… cause when I do… you know it's real."

That's for me is the best lesson I got from Letting Go of the Groom…

And to my friends who know me, and even the groom, himself (hehehe) who are so concerned  with how I'm coping right now and bothered of my being silent and aloof. 

Don't worry… I'm happy…. Ako pah?!

MERRY CHRISTMAS….

I WISH YOU LOVE

and a HAPPY HEART!