The Way We Were

My mind has just recently been thinking of strangers who eventually became my friends.
And these so-called friends have been causing me "stressful moods" that had later on turned
into tantrums-causing-migraine, making me walk into numerous eggshells.. making me go out of
their world.

I actually went out… and turned a look back… just a far-away look… been a stranger for quite sometime… let them do the way they do things… and I had my head up to do the things I usually do… uncomplicated.. living free…

Now I've been thinking whether i've gone too far… and going back has totally been out of my mind.. will there be something good at going back or will it be better to continue paving the way out…

A way back is a struggle to accept everyone's shortcomings and moodswings… the same reasons that fed me up… and pull that string apart.

A way back is as if a confirmation that … "once you step back… you have to be doubly or triply hard-skinned"..

I intend not to compromise… not to go back for now… a lil room for silence, for maturity and respect…

The friendship has gotten too personal… so attached… but has never been strong and dependable…

Can this be the end… an ending that will never go unnoticed by others… just us…

Just let me be free…. and happy with the way I do things… it's uneasy to be walking and smiling but in my heart i know, I am uncomfortable.

I just hope they, too, will understand… for friendship doesn't always have to mean…. being up-close and personal … and my prayers are always with you guys, wherever I go… in the nearness of you….

Will I be happy with my decisions?

Or will it be okay to just leave without having to say I'm leaving… just leave…

Is that the way of a friend?!? Hmmm…..

Churva

Let me end the week with some points to ponder… I am deeply grateful to JP for sending this.. hehehe

This is interesting.  CHURVA has its etymology from the Greek word "CHEORVAMUS" meaning "for lack of the right word to say or in place of something you want to express but you cannot verbalize."

- aba'y akalain mo!!

Happy Weekend, mga Churvers!!!

what if we fall in love…..

I am not a Yeng Constantino fanatic… but I do love hearing the songs she has written… This one's I cannot just ignore…. In fact, I was so hesitant to know the title of this and too glad that I heard it played on the PC of a stranger.. Can't help but ask the girl beside me and too fortunate enough that she knows it very well…

So simple… yet so relaxing to hear…. Some says…. when you're in love… songs as simple as this… can mean something different to you… Is this a sign?!  

Makes me think of someone… of something…. of the howdy and the how's dat…. of everything…. of the future… of something beyond the years… and the stars… of the moon elsewhere…. yiheeee!!!  <think! think! think!>

… have I asked myself of…. "what if we fall in love?"… or have I actually prepared a more convincing answers to the matters of the heart?  Hmmm…

Ask the moon and the stars…. for if it happens…. this will gonna be another… "Got to Believe in Magic!"

by Yeng Constantino

There will be no ordinary days for you
‘Cause there is someone that cares like I do
You will have no reason to be sad anymore
I am always ready with a smile
With just one glimpse of you

[Refrain]
You don’t have to search no more
‘Cause I am someone who will love you for sure

[Chorus]
So if we fall in love maybe we’ll sing this song as one
If we fall in love we can write a better song than this
If we fall in love we will have that melody in our head
If we fall in love anywhere with you would be a better place

You can watch that movie in a different light
I will be right there beside you hugging you oh so tight (oh so tight)
How can love feels so cold and empty again
And I will keep on holding on and won’t let go (and won’t let go)

[repeat Refrain and Chorus]

Feel so good when you’re around
One smile from you (one smile from you) and I just feel so bright

[repeat Chorus]

Interview

Just had a rounds of interview - exam - interview here and there in several companies in Manila, Makati, and QC.  Just this morning, I had to attend to an interview in one of the largest recruitment firm in Makati.  I am excited to be interviewed as always… as usual… I came late… had a wacky and interesting interview that has become my interview with the interviewer hahahaha

That has always been the case… I laughed when the interviewer said… "I like the way you talk.  Very natural!" <sabay apir>

I was given a written exam and had a innie-minnie-miny-moo on the choices that points to numerical and problem solving questions!  I hate that questions!  Came a 20-item spelling quiz that tested my being a "Spelling Wiz" before… hehehehe it still works!  I never missed anything on the list…

Came the typing exam… Wooohooooo!!!! Jaraaann!!! Whew!  Sisiw!

But I never closed the deal yet… for I have to weigh other options… and other possibilities… 

Thanks to my friends who make have been wishing that I'll be hired in the same building as theirs…

Gotta go!!! 

The Spirit

I've been browsing the net for karatedo pictures of the Philippine team when I saw familiar faces of Joy Ruiz and Alma Cabasal.  I even saw in one of the captions that Alma is the next Gretchen Malalad…

I've been so proud of these people who I have known because of Gretchen in her PBB Celebrity stint.. most of them became my co-forumers and eventually have exchanged texts as well.

Renee Granadino is among the sidekicks and karatekas who join in several karate tournaments. 

I've always love watching karatedo… taekwando… and any forms of martial arts… and it relaxes me though to see just how a kick was thrown to the opponent…

That's when I started to look after the Filipino karateka… that's where I saw Gege… fighting so hard.. victory didn't came as easy as it used to be but I saw in Gege… a winner!  The fist… the fighting spirit… the stand of a Karateka that will fight hard and take whatever it is to win…  

Thanks to Andrew Villasis for this photo.  I just loved this…  This was taken after Gege won the first gold in the 23rd SEA Games…

The Heart of a Champion cannot just be easily ignored… it's admired… 

I remembered some forumers who once asked me… among the many housemates in PBB whom I've actively supported, who among them is really my idol…

I told them… the level of support and admiration is different to some greater extent… and in the case of Gretchen… I'm too vocal in saying that if ever Nene, Beatriz or Gretchen were in the same season of PBB, surely my attention is after the athlete I've known prior to this reality show… someone I used to watch… 

God Bless to the next batch of great karatekas…. Alma, Joy and Renee…. Gege's Sidekicks!

Kudos to all of you!!! <Bow!> 

Pasalubong

Antagal ko na rin palang nagdodorm…. nung isang araw.. narinig ko… may isang nanay ng kadorm-mate ko na dumalaw mula pa sa malayong probinsya.

Napangiti na lang ako.  College palang kasi ako, pag may dumadalaw na magulang sa boarding house, isa agad ang nasa isip ko.  May pasalubong na pagkain ito at swerteng busog na naman ako!

Hmm… tama nga ako!  May dalang sangkaterbang santol na malalaki… at siyempre dahil halos pader lang ang pagitan, isa ako sa naambunan ng grasya!

Madaling mahirap magdorm.  Para kang nag-abroad na nakakahomesick at sa maliit na paraan kailangan mong matutunan maging independent, magbudget ng maliit na allowance at magtiis kumain ng mga ulam na hindi mo naman nakagawiang kainin.

Pero alam mo… mas mahirap makisama sa mga taong mejo kakaiba.

Lately, hindi ako masyadong makaalis ng dorm… dahil sa nakawan na nagaganap sa dorm.  Hassle ung lagi kaming nakalock ang pinto… kung nakakamatay lang ang tingin ko sa suspect.. marahil ay duguan na un…   Masarap magdorm…. pag alam mong tiwala ka sa mga kasama mo at safe ka sa munting tulugan na tinutulugan mo…

Pero pag hindi… daig mo pa ang paranoid! 

Mahabang Kilig ;-)

Last Tuesday, my brother requested me to meet our long-lost Kuya in Makati to get something I was hardly informed about the details.

Since, Makati is in the area of my target job hunt… I shrugged my shoulders… “Okay!”

Deep inside, I was soooooo excited to meet my Kuya E.

Okay… tagalugin na natin para mas exciting ang kwentuhan…

Sikretong malupit… Kuya E is my elementary crush pa… I used to join him in biking and in jogging to Tagaytay… kahit kalyuhin at sumakit ang binti ko sa kakatakbo… Go pa rin!!!  Mabibilang lang kasi talaga sa daliri ko ang taong pinakilig ako ng matindi hehehehe at si Kuya E ay marahil isa sa mga sumunod kay Raymond Lauchengco sa pagpapakilig na ito hahahahaha

mabait, disente, prim and proper, bright <very bright>…  Hopefully, he won’t read this or else… lulubog ako sa pinakamalapit na manhole sa sobrang hiya… Mejo weakness ko talaga ung mejo “disenteng kumilos”…  There was a time that I saw him in my previous company… he was having a meeting then with my boss… and it so happened that I passed by the room and he was exiting….

Bump!  Literally speaking, yung butterflies in the stomach… dios ko… nagacrobat pa inaki sa tyan ko sa sobrang ewan ko ba… hindi ko alam kung nangitim ako sa sobrang blush o hindi kinaya ng heartbeat ko ang pagkabigla kasabay ng pagkakilig…

<Gosh! Alam mo ung gusto mong sumigaw to the max ng walang sound tapos I have to maintain my being composed and not-so-obvious Huwaw!  Gosh… para akong bullet na ipinutok hahahaha> 

After long long years, I’ll be meeting him again… sakit ng paa ko sa heels…at ambigat ng talukap ng mata ko sa makeup at mascara… hahahaha tska mejo gurly gurly look ako…

I was in front of PBCom Tower when someone called… <Oh My GoD!!!!! Muntik na ako mahulog sa underground escalator>

Kuya E was calling…  pagkasabi pa lang ng “Kumusta ka na?!”  Shocks… panic to death ang lola mo… nalunok ko yata ng buo ung half ng donut na kinakain ko habang naglalakad.. hahahaha  Tapos nung nagkita na kami… he was asking me if I've gotten a new job na… lagi daw pag nagkikita kami ay nag-apply ako ng trabaho… Dati kasi inaalok na nya akong magwork sa company nila… pero hindi kaya ng atay at balun-balunan ko….. hindi ko ma-imagine na halos everyday eh hindi naman normal ang kilig ko hahahahaha

Nawala talaga ang yabang sa katawan ko… at tagalog na lang ay nabubulol pa ako…. Para akong bulate na natapunan ng tubig sa C.R.  

At sa sobrang hindi ko maexplain na saya… tapos na pala ung conversation namin… nakangiti pa ako hehehehe tapos ung pag-babye… ay ang hirap sabihin…  hehehehe  so babalik na naman ako sa dati kong mundo … by the way… Kuya E is already married kaya mabuti pa ay idaan ko na lang sa mahabang kilig at matamis na ngiti ang encounter na ito… Yiheeeee!!!! 

Saya ng August 1, 2007!!!