They say it’s love

Sometimes it’s the feeling that you are denying yourself that somehow you feel something special for someone that makes my ordinary life a lil happier than the usual. Everytime I am into that phase where I am doubting, I used to tell myself… "this should not be happening.. this isn’t true… I’m not falling for him" blah blah blah.  And putting all those justifications that would in any way redirect that admiration into something else…

And I find myself "silently" falling hehehe

I dunno what’s in that smile that everytime I choose to really ignore this … my heart turns always to that man.  There’s something in that smile.. that makes me smile sweeter hehehe

♥I Chose To Love You In Silence, For In Silence, I Find No Rejection. I Chose To Love You In Loneliness, For In Your Loneliness,  No One Owns You, But Me!♥

♥If enduring pain, braving shame, despising one’s self for the sake of affection and accepting misery without question is the definition of love - then, I LOVE YOU.♥

♥Love is knowing you will spend every day, of every week, of every month, of every season, of every year for the rest of your life with this person, and thinking, ‘This is exactly what I want’.♥

What’s in you?  What’s in you?

Php20 Barya

PVP Liner byaheng Ayala.  Sa may Quirino Ave.  Standing ako.  Bitbit ang sandamukal na gamit.  Nang biglang may umakyat na isang lalaki.  Mejo bahagyang nakayuko at napansin kong parang may problema sa balat.  Bigla siyang nagsalita at humingi ng paumanhin.

Dati siyang macho dancer sa sikat na clubs sa Pasay.  Binanggit nya nang paulit-ulit ung pangalan ng clubs sa may Roxas Blvd pero hindi ko na natandaan.  Sa edad nyang 48, mababakas mo nga na noong kabataan niya, matikas at may hitsura talaga cia.  1980s ang kasikatan nya. 

Pero sa paglipas ng panahon, umedad din cia at nagkasakit.  Iniwasan na ng mga kaibigan at taong minsan ay nakasama nya.  Sa madaling salita, hindi masyadong sinuwerte sa buhay.  Nanlimos siya sa bawat isa sa bus.  Kakainin na daw nya ang pride nya kesa magnakaw at pumatay.  Noong kalakasan daw nya, mapagbigay din cia sa ibang tao, magaan ang kamay sa pagtulong.  Ngayon, hindi nya alam kung AIDS or cancer ang sakit nya dahil wala na ciang panggamot.

Binubuhay na lang nya ang kanyang sarili, umaasa sa tulong ng ibang tao.  Umaasa daw kasi siyang, naging matulungin din cia dati kaya alam nyang may tutulong din sa kanya.

Abot-abot ang pasasalamat nya sa konting perang natanggap.  Sa tingin ko, wala pang isandaan un.  P20 binigay ko.  Sabi ko, bawi nalang ako pag nakasakay ko ulit cia. 

Bigla ko ulit naisip.. kung mabait cia dati at matulungin… bakit ngayon, ganito cia… "Why do bad things happen to good people?

Bigla kong naisip, wala na ung P20 ko.  Huling pera ko na nga yun sa bulsa… hehehe buti pa cia may barya… ako tuloy ang naubusan hehehe

The Love he had

Kindly read this, it will surely touch your heart, Nelson.

I was walking around in a Target store, when I saw a Cashier hand this little boy some money back.
The boy couldn’t have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
The Cashier said, "I’m sorry, but you don’t have enough money to buy this doll."
Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ‘’Granny, are you sure I don’t have enough money?'’

I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine.  And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

Pinoy Haircut

There was this good old barber in a city in the United States . One day a florist went to him for a haircut. After the cut, he wanted to pay the barber but the barber replied, "I don’t accept money from you. I’m doing community service." The florist was happy and left the barbershop.

* * * * Can you guess?….
* * * * Do you know the answer yet?….
* * * * Come on, think like a Filipino….
* * * * O, sirit ka na ba?

There were a dozen FILIPINOS waiting for free haircuts ! ! ! ! ! !

Thanks, Emz for this email… ang tawag sa amin nito ay "arimuhanan" hehehe

Seize the Moment

I smiled when I heard this from a commercial "Seize the Moment… Speak your Mind"..

If it would be as easy as it is… I wouldn’t dare to miss it.  But the world will curse me if I would. Hmm.. sometimes I would just like to know if there’s something mutual or unspoken attraction.  Instinct tells me there is   There’s something in that look that I feel has something to convey that I’ve long been trying to ignore.  There is…. hehehehe

A hidden language known to those who live in that world…. hehehe

What if someone dares to speak up and let the feelings be known?  That’s basically what I am so scared about… What if someone will pop up the question?  Will the two of us just laugh or exclaim "I knew it!" or what?

How will it affect us and the people around us? 

Or will just allow the feelings to make us both happy … hmmm…

A Night with Julia

For quite sometime, I missed watching concerts and band gigs that’s why I opted to watch a dinner concert a day after Valentines. 

I was so glad to have watched "Julia Fordham" in Greenbelt.  I fell in love with the voice and I felt serenaded with "Love Moves in Mysterious Ways" and "Loving You"…

Even now I could still hear it by heart… was in love with that voice… Hope to see you again, Julia

Friendsterization

I rely so much on friendster to get connected with friends I haven’t been seeing for so long.  I’d love to see changing pictures showing their wedding, newborn babies, reunions and other gimmicks.

Pic #1:  Evy finally got married last February 10, 2008 at US.  A dream come true for Cookiemonster to catch a blue-eyed groom!  Oh well, your Tropang Peks are happy that you finally met your man!  Congratulations!  

My message for you?! Hmm.. "Jumbo Hotdog! Kaya mo ba yan?!? Hahahaha"  [Pati ako natawa sa nasabi ko]

Pic #2:  Mommy Aireen and Huang Kuan

I’ve long been expecting that my friend, Aireen, will soon have a cute baby.  But never did i imagine, it would be cuter than what I  saw… a really cute angel with the name Huang Kuan a.k.a. Adams.  Congrats, Aireen! Be good

Pic #3:  Matto’s Lil Izzie

Who would have thought that this baby is not mine?  This is actually Matto’s Izzie Girl.  Look at the pink headband… hehehe I immediately called her up and said…

S:  Matto, aba’y maganda-ganda na rin nga naman tong si izzie ano? Manang-mana sa Ninang hahaha Ang cute nya sa pink!

M: Sama mo, bakit dati ba hindi maganda ang anak ko?

S: Wala akong sinabing ganon, sinabi ko lang na maganda-ganda ngayon.  Dati hindi masyadong maganda.

M: Hahahaha Gago ka ah

S: Sinasabi ko lang totoo, buti nga ngayon mapusyaw na.

M: At bakit? Maitim ba yan dati?

S: Pag sinabi kong maputi yan, eh wala ng maitim.

M: Hahahahaha

Three Things

I grew up thinking I was just a Daddy’s Girl and a Lola’s Girl.  Leaving the other attention to my brother.  I settle for just making my Lolo be proud of who I am at least.

I never knew that until I had a heart-to-heart talk earlier with my Mom.  She told me that Lolo is getting weaker each day that he can no longer support himself.  And that last night, my Lolo cried at Lola when Lolo asked her … "Wag ka sana magsawang mag-alaga sa akin ha kasi konting panahon na lang naman ako magpapaalaga".  They hugged each other while inside the comfort room.

My Lola silently cried.  She told my Mom… "Hindi na nga magtatagal ang Ama mo.  Nagbibilin na eh.  Mahal na mahal ng Ama mo si Shereen.  Laging siya ang ipinagbibilin sa akin."

And my Mom began to cry when she told me just what our Lola told her…  Lolo could have mentioned his three children and even my brother… but Lolo keep on mentioning … "Wag ninyong pababayaan si Shereen.  Wag ninyong pababayaan."  "Gusto ko lang makita si Obel na isang abogado na, at masaya akong pipikit na…" 

I pretend that I’m busy doing something that I need to turn my back… but in reality, my eyes are filled with tears… and I’m about to burst in tears!  The days are getting nearer and no matter I prepare myself… I know that I am the least prepared among all of us… and he knew that very well.

I remembered in one of our conversations when he asked me three things I am scared of in life…

I answered…

"1.  The first day you’re gone 2.  The first day that I will realize, you’re totally gone coz that’s the only time I will feel I’m totally wasted and alone and 3. Not making you feel so proud of having me as your granddaughter coz the coming days would never be the same again after these "three days".

But I’m happy that I have fulfilled my dream of making him listened to the songs I’ve published.  Seeing him happy and proud of me… is what I really want

Just for a while

On my way back to Manila, I found myself humming.  It’s from Pooh’s "Wherever You Are".  I’ve reached 29 and been exposed to almost different types of people while keeping a strong sense of "sheggzness".  But sometimes it still affects me everytime a lie will be brought up into the open.  Once, twice is still manageble but several instances and still not bothered until the truth came out are I think is another case.

It saddens me that things like these has to happen at the most unexpected milestones… that I am already at the crossroads of forever keeping a bond.  I am not home to keeping lies… that’s the only thing I keep and value…

I’ll hear you laugh

I’ll see you smile

I’ll be with you

Just for a while…

I used to believe in forever

But forever’s too good to be true

I’ve  hung a wish on ev’ry star

It hasn’t done much good so far

Meaning

I keep on telling my single friends out there.. "Lilipas din ng maluwalhati yang Valentines Day!" Hahahaha Yesterday, I kept on seeing a lot of men bringing "bouquet of flowers", "cute teddy bears", "big Vday cards" on my way to Ayala.  Not bothered at all whether they’ll be teased by "Uuy may dalang flowers!"

We were having lunch at Greenbelt when we saw a guy who I suspect is not really a guy (but a gay)  surrounded by his friends, being teased somehow, having flowers, too! I quickly exclaimed… "Buti pa cia may flowers!" hahahaha <Ibibigay ba nya yun o siya ang nakatanggap? Hahaha>

Then early this morning, I saw a girl with a girl beside her, whom I suspect is not really straight, (dumi ng utak noh) holding her pink bouquet.  Renz told me… "Iba ang timezone nila.. Ngayon palang Valentines!" Hahaha

But come to think of it, Valentines has one profound meaning… that’s why it has that huge and different meaning for all of us…

I received several text messages yesterday….

"Happy Hearts Day!" - "Happy Valentines Day!" - "Happy Saint Valentine!" - Jang had her own version of "Happy Single Awareness Day!" but it’s Abbie that made me laugh… "Happy Birthday, Kris Aquino!"

WTF!!! Hahaha

Hehehe bumawi lang ako… kanina pa ako nagkakasala sa madumi kong utak hehehe

Happy Birthday Val! <from your friends in SFC-Amadeo>