The Child in Us :)

It was 9pm.  When Mark stood up, I thought he has something in mind more serious than I thought.. He looked straight and said, “Jollibee naman tayo oh”…  

I smiled for it reminded me of how I begged just to collect the Powerpuff Girls… and now it’s him… to complete the Avatars in Kiddie Meal… hehehe 

We were still in Jollibee and had already finished our quick dinner when we made fun of those toys… The excitement didn’t end there. 

 

I embraced

For most of our days are spent wandering and wondering… that we feel alienated because we tend to be over-expecting and unsatisfied with the simple achievements, simple rewards, simple appreciation and simple attention we get from anybody. 

For we worry so much on the things that need not to be worried about and we get tired of looking for ways to resolve conflicts but deep within ourselves we’re escaping the root of it. 

It’s when I realized a tap on a shoulder, a hug from a friend, being in company with real people, comforting words from strangers and a strong sense of faith are enough to make things work. 

Faith. Hope and Love… I thought were just biblical words… until I embraced that these three words are more than enough not to wonder anymore.

The Invisible War

JULIA FORDHAM
Invisible War

Invisible war, seems we’re fighting an invisible war
Strained manoeuvres, keeping silent score
In this invisible war
Every day I seem to lose you more
Both wishing it was like before
In this invisible war

Talk about a fine line between love and hate
We’ve lost more than our direction of late
Talk about a fine line between lovers and friends
We’ve never been lovers, now we’re not even friends

In this invisible war, seems we’re waging an invisible war
Every day I seem to lose you more
In this invisible war

Wounded deeply the scar is here to stay
Opening up at all the little things I do and say
You always want things to be as before
So I make you angry and you bleed a little more

In this invisible war, seems that we’re waging an invisible war
Every day I seem to lose you more
In this invisible war

I wanna run away
I still love you
I’ve got to be away
and I always love you
I’ve got to find a way
Time heals all wounds

INVISIBLE WAR

"Into the Wild"

I always depend on instinct at most of my daily encounters.  When I saw the cover of this young man sitting on top of the bus, I had that instinct that the story in itself is what I’ve long been wanting to see… there’s something beyond that look… so I grabbed it. 
I got hooked at the first few scenes of it… This movie must have something relevant to tell that I haven’t seen in any of the previous movies I’ve seen… What is he looking at?  That was the question lingering into my mind…
Thanks to Lakwatserong Ticsay for watching it first…

Into the Wild is the true story of Chris McCandless, a good kid from a prosperous but unhappy family, who left home, burned his money, changed his name to Alexander Supertramp and in 1992 walked off into the Alaskan wilderness. He died there of starvation 16 weeks after he arrived. What was he looking for?  

What was it about what McCandless did that got to you?

PENN: I really think that we shouldn’t just accept rites-of-passage opportunities as they come, because what we’ll find is that they don’t come in our world anymore. And we shouldn’t look at them as a kind of luxury or romantic dream but as something vital to being alive. McCandless quotes somebody else in the movie: “If just once you put yourself in the most ancient of circumstances …” This is where nature comes into it–and I think that Eddie and I share this feeling–that every sober-minded person of any belief would probably agree that the biggest issue is quality of life. You’ve gotta feel your own life to have a quality of life, and our own inauthenticity, our corruptions, get in the way of that. The wilderness is relentlessly authentic.
- http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1661699,00.html

Nature-lovers will definitely love it but I’ve loved the story and the journey and the touching message at the end of it…  “Society” alienates people… and silence and experience will bring you back to your own life.
ABSOLUTE FREEDOM…. I’m into that.. hoping I would have that journey very very soon… 

The soundtrack is cool!!!

Sarili mo.. kayanin mo

Nasa unahan ako ng taxi kaninang umaga.  Nag-enjoy ako sa pasikot-sikot na daan makarating lang kami ng Makati.  Tinatahak namin ang daang Kamagong.  Sa unahan namin ay isang taxi din. 

Nasa kanto na kami ng biglang nagbaba ng pasahero ang isang pampasaherong jeep.  Nakow, eh mejo may katabaang lalaki na parang Instik ang bumaba.  Eh saktong papadating ang taxi sa unahan namin… galit si Tabachoy sa driver ng taxi dahil muntik na siyang masagasaan…

Nang umalis na iyong taxi, kami na siyempre ang nakaambang awayin ng Tabachoy.  Handa ako sa laban.  Tagal niyang maglakad… sinisipat – sipat ang driver ng taxi na sinasakyan ko.  At nang mapagod sa kakatingin, sa akin naman bumaling ang tingin… saktong ang kaliwang kilay ko ay nag-activate na tumaas…

Tiningnan ko lang cia sa level nang masamang tingin nya sa akin.  Sabi ng taxi driver, “Bakit pati sa atin galit?”

Hindi ako sumagot… at hindi ko rin inalis ang tingin ko habang ang bagal niyang lumalampas sa harapan namin.  Agad kong pinindot ang busina… “Toink! Toink!”

Wala siyang nagawa kundi maglakad… pagkalampas na pagkalampas nya, humarurot ang taxi namin… at ang naging usapan namin ni Manong Driver?

“Kung hindi nya kayang dalhin ang sarili niya, wag siyang maninindak ng tao.  Baka pag hinamon ko siya ng takbuhan eh maubos ang lahat ng sebo sa katawan niya.  Ako kaya ko ang sarili ko sa payat kong to.  Wag kayo manong pasisindak sa mga taong mukhang maninindak.  Pag alam ninyo sa sarili ninyong tama kayo at wala kayong tinatapakan na baboy, panghawakan ninyong mabuti ang prinsipyong meron kayo.  Hindi kayo iwawala ng prinsipyong iyon.”

Manong:  Kala ko nga aawayin tayo.  Wala naman akong ginagawa sa kanya.  Ang tagal nga nyang tumawid.

Ako: Hindi naman ho ako papayag na awayin kayo dahil sa kasalanang hindi natin alam.  Hindi ako palaaway na tao pero galit ako sa taong nanlalamang ng ibang tao.

Baboy-ramo man dapat may puso din.

Evidence

I dunno if after posting this blog, there would still be blog-readers hoppin’ in hehehe.

E-mails can now be used as proof or evidence in court.  I just thought of this… is MMS message be acceptable to HR as replacement to filing leave application form?  Instead of writing down the reasons why you are absent.. a graphic representation of that is clearly captured in the MMS anyway… 

Someone sent me this… he’ll be late for the afternoon meeting because of his rumbling tummy.  I was in the middle of having my pasta and garlic bread for breakfast when I opened this…

 

Into the Light

Nothing makes a new day more promising than having the right heart, the right spirit, the right mind and the right strength that comes from God.

At 3am of Sunday, I was already in Manaoag, Pangasinan after only 3 hours of travel from Cubao.
The two cross on top of the church were the first light I saw when I went there.  Then I remember a line from Into the Wild.

"God is Love.  When you forgive, God’s light shines upon you." 

I was teary-eyed when entering the church.  Forgiveness has finally granted… to those who have made my life miserable for the past few days… and it’s hard to bear it alone.. no one knows exactly what you have gone through and it’s hard to face a lot of people knowing you’re strong outside but worn-out inside.

I came there again to pray for a lot of people…
Then I looked for the van driving all the way to Baguio. I sat in front with the driver and my Pink Manaoag at the center.  The long drive is way worth it! The driver noticed the smile on my face when his radio tuned in to country music. 

The clouds kissing the mountaintop… the fog blocking the road… the relaxing views…the windy place… the mountains.. the music… got me back to my senses One of the very few moments that I am comfortably… one with the inner sheggz-ness.

I enjoyed not my few hours stay in Baguio but the way up high… I want to go out on top of the van, have my arms open wide, eyes firmly closed and scream out loud… "The hell with the whole world… I JUST WANNA BE HAPPY! Wooooohooooooo!!!!"

Fuck off Road… Fuck off!

  

Through the course of life
You sometimes lose direction
It’s hard to find the path again
So you wander
Even when there’s maps to guide you
You wish for something more
Even if you’ve found your bearing
You forget what you came for
So easy to lose yourself on this road
With all the twists and turns
And even when you’ve found what you were looking for
You may wish for more
Through the course of life you’ll plow
Angry, Scared, Worried…
Find joy in the little things
And always disappointment that you don’t have more
Moments passing quickly, memories easily forgotten
It’s not fair now is it..
But that’s how it goes
So in those moments you cherish most
Try not to think on woes
Grasp onto them and fly the skies
and say fuck off to the road.

- Michelle Addison